I miss you, dad! Wish you were still here ~ I have so many things I want to tell you!
I know you would be happy for me and I know of all people, YOU would be proud of me! Boy have we had a lot of changes the last two years.
You should see these kids ~ oh how they have grown! Natalie is almost as tall as me and more beautiful than ever~ inside and out! We caught her reading her Bible the other day in her room and it blessed me so much!! She's my prayer warrior! We asked her 'why pray?' and she responded, "because it works!!" Oh to have her faith!! She's still a straight A student! She's exceeding her average reading levels and loves math just like me. She is an incredible big sister! The kids look up to her and she is setting a great example for them. She sure misses you. Some times out of the blue I see a little tear. I'll hug her and ask what's wrong and her response is typically, "I miss Pawpaw!" We all miss you dearly.
Sis and Bub are now in preschool and are thriving!!! Every day is a day closer to finishing paperwork for the adoption ~ looks like early spring this year. All along our hope was to complete it before Sarah started kindergarten. I texted the lawyer this morning to see where we were, looks like we are still on track. We plan to have a big, happy celebration! Wish you were here to celebrate with us.
Sis is so much like you and I! She's so stinkin' bullheaded and she steals the hearts of everyone she meets! You can't help but love her so much. She thinks of you a lot because she will enthusiastically bring up the fact that you are now with Jesus in heaven! We can't wait to all be with you and Jesus some day. She loves Jesus, anything made of sugar, her family, her Bible, her dolls and pancakes. She would have pancakes for dinner every night if she was in charge of the menu. She tests me a lot, but I know when she's older, her thriving personality will make her a leader. AJ and I both have had a clear vision about Sarah and her situation. We feel like the Lord has laid it on our hearts to somehow get our story out. We have a federal system is set up to protect children from sexual predators, but there is nothing that protects a child from an abusive situation. Through our experience with Sarah, we have a story to tell. We hope it opens the proper eyes in helping other children not to have to go through what our baby girl has had to endure. We are calling our task "Saving Sarah." We are having her tested again this week for speech at school. She's too smart for her own "dood"!! ;) but she still struggles on her pronunciation of words still at four years old. Hopefully we can get her the help she needs before she starts kindergarten this fall! She has come so far! We are so proud of her. I think I'm going to enroll her into music or dance. She loves to perform we're just not sure sports are going to be the best stage for her. We tried the soccer thing, but whew! she let us know that was hard work. LOL
Bub is just an old soul in a three-year-old body. He's such a smart little boy. He has dreams bigger than this world. He loves anything that wears a cape, or anything that could be a cape, anything that's made of sugar and a full sippy cup of milk first thing in the morning. All he can think about is becoming a super hero when he grows up and some day driving a tractor like daddy! We enrolled them into soccer this last fall. Logan is a natural! He's such a light weight he just flew down the field with great foot control! These two are like having twins... they are growing up so fast! Now I understand what it might have been like when Kim and Jerrie were little. Can't believe it's been almost three years since they came to live with us! In some ways, it seems like yesterday. In other ways I can't remember life without them!!
I know for sure you would be so proud of this little man you never met outside the womb... He is such a ham! We named him after you and mom. Jace ~ "J" for Jerry; "C" for Carol. He reminds me of you a lot. He loves candy canes, momma's lap, wearing anybody's shoes but his own, giving squeezers, making people laugh and stealing kisses! Smart! Oh, my is he ever smart! He still babbles his words out for the most part, but he doesn't miss much. His latest thing is if you tell him something or ask him something, he looks at you and says, "hu?" and of course, our natural response is to repeat ourselves... until the third and fourth "hu?". Then we all laugh and tell him "stop it" and he gets so tickled. Since day one, AJ would ask him if he had him wrapped around his finger... he use to make a cute little noise, but now he will show you his index finger just to be certain you knew you were wrapped around it! He has your hair and snores just like you too!! Can't believe he's already calling his big sister names like "doe-doe" lol. Natalie's okay with that nickname. She says it's a lot better than what Sarah use to call her. heheheh I have a picture of you praying over him in my belly in a frame in the living room. He walks around with that picture, hugs it, kisses it and says Pawpaw all the time. I know for sure he would be your fishing buddy!
AJ and I signed up to go as sponsors to kids camp this summer with the church!! We can't wait! We have so many great memories of kids camp when we were kids! We can't wait to be a part of growing relationship with our Lord with these kids! Natalie is really excited we are going too! I think she has invited several of her friends to go to camp this summer.
You wouldn't believe what all AJ has done to this house... It looks amazing! We're not done yet, but we have been so blessed! He is working on the kitchen now! A friend at work gave us her stove and microwave when she remodeled her kitchen. We couldn't have imagined how much more room that gave us in the kitchen. The whole back wall where the stove and oven used to be is now counter space. Our garage is now our bedroom and opens up into the living room. Sarah has her own room now too. AJ closed in the office area and she has the sweetest little pink and green room. Natalie's room is no longer little girl pink. She's growing up on me too fast and went with yellow walls with black and white bedding. The boys are sharing the larger of the old two bedrooms. We found the coolest bunk beds with a built in dresser and desk and bookshelf for them to grow into. Jerrie Lynn and BJ blessed us with custom closets in the boys room, Natalie's room and AJ & I's room. WOW! that was pretty incredible how much of a space saver it was!
I am truly blessed with the husband God gave me. He has a lot of your qualities. He is handy to have around the house and he is such an incredible daddy! He keeps me sane most days! And reminds me often to keep my cool. I told you I always saw myself with a large family... whew! Three little ones can either keep you young some days or make you feel really old!! Today, I am a very blessed momma and wife! AJ is working for the city now. He has a total commute of three minutes! We made a decision to try to stay close to home so he could be a part of the every day life at home instead of being on the road. Although the position doesn't pay much now from a financial standpoint, there is a lot of potential for growth... and he's home with me every night! It's also been such an opportunity to share his faith with many people.
Oh, how God has richly blessed us so much... It's been a long almost three years. We liquidated everything we could to survive at times. You were right when you said this process was going to cost a lot. More than just finances, but sometimes cost us "things" too. We've realized quickly what are our true priorities and necessary items. You were also right when you told me, He is faithful if we are faithful. We are seeing His faithfulness first hand these days and we are humbly grateful! We made a commitment with our finances last fall not because we were expecting a blessing, but because we were convicted. Some times I worried about buying groceries or keeping our commitment. God has blessed us so much. We were given a huge blessing through my job to help with the adoption; I received a promotion with a raise; Sarah and Logan qualified for preschool which eliminated over a thousand dollars a month (some months over fifteen hundred) and the list goes on and on. We are able to bless others because He has blessed us! He is good ALL the time!
Oh, daddy, I miss you so much. Thank you for your unconditional love. You have no idea what I would give if only I could hear you say, "I love you, baby!" just one more time! I miss our instant message chats during the day and those random emails that said, "I just wanted you to know I love you." I love you and miss you sooo much it hurts sometimes!!! Thanks for always loving me "enough"!! I can still see you signing me in sigh language 'I love you!' with your million dollar smile to back it up! I can't believe it's been over two years since I've heard your voice.
I hope you are kicking up your heels and smiling! I can't wait to see you again very soon!
love,
your baby girl
