don't you realize

`I heard a lady's testimony today online and it touched me deeply. The words, "Don't you realize ~ that you cannot make your own heart beat? don't you realize ~ that all the power you think you posses, that you posses none of it? It is the mercy of God that sustains you... even when you hate Him." (Gianna Jessen 2008)

How often I think I'm in control when I have absolutely no control of even my own heart beat. This quote reminded me so much of my father. How the Lord has used his life as a walking testimony of God's healing power. How over and over again, God has given him the strength to keep faithfully walking. It amazes me daily what God has done for my dad.

Gianna Jessen is an abortion survivor. Her verbal testimony states that her biological mother, at the age of 17, decided to have a saline abortion in the seventh month of pregnancy. When all odds stacked against her... God had more power. When everyone gave up on her... she was hated since conception... when no one wanted her... when her life was not needed... God made it clear that He had a plan for her. God made it clear that He loves her. After 18 hours from the injection, she arrived alive. Death didn't win. "I consider all for the glory of God." "God has a way of making the most miserable thing beautiful."

Do you realize that death is the last battle Christ will fight for us? Christ has overcome death. Upon His return, "the dead in Christ will rise first," I Thessalonians 4:16

what He does for us

Romans 12:3 (the Message) "I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him."

Let me just start with.... WOAH! What a ride the last few months have been. I'll try to catch up to my life on the blog soon. Life has been an incredible whirlwind ~ and that statement alone is an understatement!

This morning I'm reading in Romans 12. I recommend you take a minute and read it. It's full of great thoughts and ways we must place our life at the feet of God. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans%2012&version=MSG

My study this morning goes hand in hand trying to create God in my box... in my image... in my little life. How I try to fit Him in a box to fit in all areas ~ sometimes He fits better in some areas than other areas. We are told in the first few verses of Romans 12 to take our ordinary life... our sleeping, our eating, going-to-work, walking around and place every area at the feet of God as an offering. If we are not whole heartedly giving everything breath we have to God for Him to guide we are giving Him nothing. I know I find myself becoming so well-adjusted to my every day life that I forget to bow my head just to say thank you. I forget to give God the praise for the successes and the failures. I forget to give everything over to Him. Verse 2 of Romans 12 says that if I continue to fix my attention on God I'll be changed from the inside out. It's at that time I can recognize exactly what He wants for me and I can respond to it appropriately.

Just this week I changed jobs within the company I work for. I initiated this move for many reasons, but mainly because I was losing focus of why I was doing what I was doing. My motives changed. My heart changed and I was dreading coming to work every morning. I recognized this a few months ago and realized that it was time for a change. I felt like God was telling me to start a new chapter in my career. This week I've noticed a change in my attitude at home and work. It's amazing when you take the appropriate steps and really listen to what God wants for me and answering that call.

Every morning in our routine taking Natalie to school, I hold her hand and pray with her in the car. My prayer includes lifting our family up in prayer. We go through each member and pray for healing, strength, health and peace. Everyday we lift up Mimi and Pawpaw. We lift up Kim and Jim. We lift up BJ and Jerrie. We lift up Michelle and Mikey. We lift up Jeremy. We lift up Sissy and Bubba and AJ. We lift up my work. Among other things we specifically lift Natalie up and claim protection over her for the day. I pray for her teachers, her friends, classmates and the school building. I specifically pray for parts of her body. I claim protection over her tongue that she uses her words for encouragement and not to tear down even to those who are not nice to her. We pray for her feet to take her to the right place at the right time. We pray for her hands to be used to glorify God and to do the right things.

Just as our tongue, feet and hands make up our bodies, our roles and functions as individuals make up the body of Christ. I love how our bodies are representations of the body of Christ. Each of us have a role and function within the kingdom of God.

Verses 4-6 of Romans 12 it talks about the various parts of the human body in comparison of the body of Christ. "Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of His body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't."

Just as my job became a dreadful walk every day, I have to look at my spiritual walk and be sure that I don't become an empty body burning out and just going through the motions. Verse 9-13 says it beautifully: "Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for deal life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle. Don't burn out; keep yourself fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality."

Some times I struggle with thinking someone "owes" me something. If they've done something to me or said something that my have hurt me. The last part of Romans 12 hit home for sure. Verses 14-21, "Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath." Oh, man... I'm guilty of that one. "Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy..." That seems easy enough. "...share tears when they're down. Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody. Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone..." So many times I judge "beauty" from the outside in. "...If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it."" WOW! that put me in my seat.

20-21, "Our scripture tells us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he's thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good."

Lord, thank you for laying Romans 12 out for me today. I truly needed to hear what you had in store for me. Thank you for my little Natalie. Thank you for the babies you have placed in my care. Thank you for my supportive family and my loving husband. Please continue to use me in all aspects of life. Help me keep You lifted up and keep you as the primary focus in life. We give you the praise and glory in Jesus' precious name!

into His

The other night I was reading and these words hit my heart: "Maybe it's time to stop placing four-dimensional limits on God. Maybe it's time to stop putting God in a box the size of your cebral cortex. Maybe it's time to stop creating God in your image and let Him create you in His."

How big is your God? Chris Tomlin and Louie Giglio talk about the indescribable God. How He is bigger than the universe and can fit it all in the palm of His hand. I love the way they explain God's size. I cannot do it justice and often tend to underestimate the "bigness" of my God. So many times I try to make Him fit into my situation or fit into my life when I'm not even a spec on the map. But... for some odd, indescribable reason, He cares and longs for me... yes, little ole me.

I love God's explanation of Himself when He was responding to Job's cry. Job 11: 7 "Do you think you can explain the mystery of God? Do you think you can diagram God Almighty? God is far higher than you can imagine, far deeper than you can comprehend, Stretching farther than earth's horizons, far wider than the endless ocean..."

Wow! How would I describe God? Ooooph ~ that's the problem. I have got to stop trying to create God in my image, my imagination, my description... and let Him continue to work me into His image. I cannot do God justice by putting boundaries on His greatness. I cannot do God justice by trying to explain His mightiness. If He can calm a storm with three simple words ~ "peace be still;" flood the world for forty days... He pretty much is out of the grasp of my imagination of exactly how powerful He truly is.

The changing seasons shows me a glimpse of how much beauty and power my God has. Autumn is my favorite time of year. I think I love fall because I don't handle the heat of the summer very well and by the end of summer, I'm longing for some relief. The colors in Northwest Arkansas arrange from greens, yellows, oranges, reds, deep purple and browns. It's as though God pulled out the paint brushes and went to work ~ creating a masterpiece. BUT... there's really something truly amazing about Springtime.

The last couple of weeks, I have sat at my desk at work, and watched out the window and see the field of cattle what once was dormant field of brown grass turning into a lush pasture of green. A beautiful pair of finches have taken up residence in the tree six feet from my desk. I've been blessed to watch them pick out real estate and single handedly bring in one twig at a time building a nest suitable for a quickly growing family. I love watching the male perched in the tree beside their new home inspecting his work, bringing in food and taking care of his soon to be family. The cows are grazing their new summer fields. They were moved from winter pastures last week and have finally settled in to their new surroundings. Life is happening all around me. The daffodils are making their appearances all over town. The dogwood tree in the backyard is in full bloom... life.

His beauty is all around us. Spring is so refreshing ~ it's a new start. It's a fresh breath of air. It's a renewing of the spirit ~ into His spirit. But having an eye for all of this beauty around I still cannot fathom the full holiness of God. I cannot wrap my mind around how to completely define Him. I see His work all around me, but that only proves there is so much more that I cannot see of Him. I think I have made my God too small. Do I fear Him? Do I fear Him enough? What exactly do I know about Him... about Holy? ...Just the glimpse of Him brings my humble heart crumbling ...I cannot imagine knowing His wholeness ~ I may never know. I know only a glimpse of what He might be. ...all I can say is ~ wow.

There's a song that I often hear that reminds me exactly how BIG my God really is. Addison Road has a beautiful song call, "What Do I Know of Holy."

Here are the lyrics & video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xS-bRarAZ2g

What Do I Know of Holy

Words and Music by Jenny Simmons and Alli Rogers

I’ve made you promises a thousand times • I’ve tried to hear from heaven • But I talk the whole time • I think I made you too small • I’ve never feared you at all, no • If you touched my face would I know you • Looked into my eyes could I behold you

What do I know of you • Who spoke me into motion • Where have I even stood • But the shore along your ocean • Are you fire, are you fury • Are you sacred, are you beautiful • So what do I know • What do I know of holy

I guess I thought that I had you figured out • I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about • How you were mighty to save • But those were only empty words on a page • Then I caught a glimpse of who you might be • The slightest hint of you brought me down to my knees

What do I know of Holy • What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame • And a God who gave life its name • What do I know of Holy • Of the One who the angels praise • All creation knows your name • On earth and heaven above • What do I know of this love • © 2007 Simple Tense Songs / Alli Rogers Publishing / ASCAP. Administered by Simpleville Music Inc. All rights reserved.

Pretty humbling... I guess it's truly time to stop creating God in my image and let Him create me into His.

Oh Lord, thank you for your mighty hand! Thank you for your holiness. Cleanse me... Use me... make me holy. Make me into what you want me to be, Lord. Thank you for the beauty around me. Help to not use what I know of you as empty words, but as an impact to those around me. You are beautiful, You are sacred... teach me. Thank you for the wounds that have healed my shame. I thank You and praise You in Jesus, precious name.

gives and takes away

God has been laying a lot on my heart lately. I'm just finding it difficult to sit down and share those thoughts lately. I'm going to try better. :) The last few weeks I've seen God work in ways I've never dreamed possible in my life.

I recently went back and read the book of Job. I admire this man almost more than any other man (besides Christ) mentioned in the Bible. Here is a man who had everything at his fingertips. Here's a man who was faithful and sacrificially offered everything to God for his own self as well as for his children. What I find remarkably amazing about Job's story is how God sacrificed Job to Satan. Job 1:8, "Then the Lord said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil." Satan replies with speculation that God has his protective hedge around Job. Verse 9-10, "Does Job fear God for nothing?" Satan replied. "Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. But stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face." Verse 12 shows me how God truly knows a mans heart. God never once doubted Job's love for Him... I want to be there... I want God to know that no matter what He places in my path, I will not turn from Him and never curse Him to His face. ...but in my heart, I'm truly not sure I'm there yet. God told Satan, verse 12, "very well, then, everything he has is in your hands, but on the man himself do not lay a finger." So Satan presented himself to God a few times regarding Job. Each visit God gave Satan a little more power over Jobs life. Each visit God said do not kill the man, but no matter you do to him, Job will not curse me.

Here is Job, minding his own business, loved God with all his heart and soul. After Job lost everything, including most of his family and his health, Job still claimed that God was power of the universe and would not curse God. Never once did he lose his faith in God. However, he cried for a fair trial. I have to be honest here, I'm not sure I would be that strong. Here's a man who's laying in his own filth and his friends and relatives are so ashamed and disgusted they won't acknowledge him or speak to him. I'm pretty sure at this point, I would have some kind of bitterness built up. Now, Job had every right to be fed up with God... Job often asks how could God be silent with him and not hear his cries. He didn't understand why God would put him through this since he knew in his heart that he did nothing to deserve this. His poor, ignorant friends trying to convince Job he has done something wrong and to just admit it, but Job knew in his heart that he did nothing to deserve this. Job questions God fairness... which I think was fair of Job.

I have to stop right here and examine God's response a little bit because this is where it completely blows me away. I ignorantly start questioning God especially with the pressures around me to justify life. Job could have just taken his life... he could have just given up especially with his wife telling him to curse God and die... with his friends telling him you are obviously a sinner, curse God and take your punishment of death... Job was never persuaded even though he listened to all of them and their ignorance... Job begins to put up his defense in trying to understand why God has left him. Just as I've done many times, He becomes a God who fits in my life... a God of convenience... a God who I expect to do what I want Him to do. I place borders on what my God can do and how my God can intervene and I try to guide my God instead of allowing Him to guide me. Is this right? no, but I would be lying if I said I haven't done this. Job never lost His love for God. He questioned why he thought he deserved this treatment, but never cursed God.

I was covered in chills reading the last couple of chapters of Job. After a long silence and Job lying in his own filth... demanding God to answer him and claiming God was out of his reach. God asks him the first question... Job 38, "Where were you when I created the earth? Tell me, since you know so much. Who decides on the size? Certainly you'll know that!" Woo! I get fired up with hearing the actual words of God! Wow! His power explodes in chapter 38-39. I suggest you take a minute to read what God says. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Job+38&version=MSG

Powerful! I have to admire Job for trying to understand why God was allowing these things to happen to him. He knew he had not done wrong and did not deserve to be going through what he was enduring. This verse alone, puts God's power and size in perspective. There are many times in my life that I ask God why. There are many times I take the pity party and say "whoa is me, poor, pitiful me!" It's in those times I know that I haven't turned over the situation to God.

I love Job's response when God asked him what he had to say for himself now. Job 40:3-5, "I'm speechless, in awe—words fail me. I should never have opened my mouth! I've talked too much, way too much. I'm ready to shut up and listen." This is a great reminder for me. It's in the quiet times that I feel God's presence more than ever! Oh, man... I would be speechless too. I know there are times I talk way too much!

I think we all know how the story ends. God blessed Job tremendously. Job 42:12-16, "The Lord blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first. He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand donkeys. And he also had seven sons and three daughters.... Nowhere in all the land were there found women as beautiful as Job's daughters... After this, Job lived a hundred and forty years; he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation. And so he died, old and full of years."

I constantly find excuses to stay in my comfort zone. My hearts' desire is to not be tied to one location... to live a life that is dispensable ~ to go where He needs me to go. My obstacles? debt, a house, etc. The other morning on the way to school, Natalie and I had a beautiful conversation. She was talking about the man on the other side of the radio. We had attended a homecoming of a friend and their adopted son. While we were there, we ran into one of the radio morning show hosts, Mark. She said she thought his voice didn't really match what she pictured him to look like in her mind. This was a perfect opportunity to explain how God views us. How he doesn't take value in what we have, but what our hearts look like. In Job's situation, he had everything, then had nothing. ...then God blessed him twice fold. But from a child's perspective, she instantly compares herself with her peers. Do I have what they have? Is what I have better? Our conversation focused around God looking at our heart. I said, "when I die, can I take this car with me?" She responded, "well, no." We carried the conversation through the house, job, stuff we've accumulated. I said, "What we have is God's to begin with. He gave us this stuff and at any time He could chose to take it away."

I laughed at her response, "Momma, why would God want to burn down our house?" Okay, maybe that was a little too harsh for a seven year old, but with a little explaining, I think she grasped the picture. I don't want God to burn down our house, but in reality, we can't take it with us when we die... "it's just stuff." Just as Job talks about treating people well, feeding the hungry, giving shelter to the poor, clothing the homeless, I talked to Natalie about helping others and how God longs for us to love one another ~ to help one another.

I believe everyone will have valleys and mountaintops of emotions in life. Job definitely experienced both in his long life. I can look at certain areas of my life when I hit rock bottom and I sat there like a stubborn baby waiting for someone or something to pick me up. Times when I didn't care about things... A time when I didn't experience God's joy. There have been areas of my life where I've just placed certain issues on the back burner... I guess I just haven't trusted God to take care of those areas. Maybe not that I didn't trust God, but that I wasn't ready to expose and admit my weaknesses and my faults. Even though I know my faults are there, it's easier to ignore some of the mistakes we make in our past than to really dig them up and confront them face to face.

So my day came a few weeks ago when I cried out to God. I look back at that night only a few weeks ago with a smile because I can just see my heavenly father smiling and possibly laughing at my attempt to address this issue in my heart. When I humbled myself and cried out, it was like the heavens opened up and God was standing there with a big ole bucket of goodness to pour on me! He has showered me so much over the last year with an incredible joy and peace and love that I've never completely grasped on to, but a few weeks ago I finally... whole hearted... turned over a situation to God that I had been hanging on to for far too long. I told Him I was ready for Him to work that area in my life and simply said, "You know the desires of my heart and if this is what you want for me, I'm ready." ...as simple as that ~ God began to move in my life. Within a couple of days doors began to close and doors began to open and I never dreamed some of the things were even possible. The weight was lifted off my shoulders, the excitement was there... and I was able to see what God had in store for me. What He has shown me in the last few weeks makes me want to shout His goodness from the rooftops! I've never paid so much attention to every detail of how God works. I've always known He does, but I'm completely overwhelmed by what He has done for me. He has taken care of my every need even down to the finances and right next to it, stacked up with my every want and right beside that, He has blessed me with things that only my heart knew and desired. He has shown healing. He has provided ways. He has even given me things I wouldn't think of asking for because He loves me. Because He wants those things for me. Because He knows the desires of my heart. And to think if He cares so much for the things I wouldn't bother Him for... the things that are not necessities... the things that only He knows... He must truly love me!

My daily prayer is asking God to never let me go.... even if I'm standing with a pocket full of nothing just as Job did. I pray that my God is enough for me because even if I lost everything I have, God still sits on the throne! ~ it's that mind frame that I pray God gives me. He's still working in me ~ thank you God!

When I finally reached the point of full surrender... I cannot even write words that describe it. I stopped crying "Lord, Help me!" and began to cry "Lord, Thank You!"

I want to share a song with you. Kutless is a Christian music group who has a song out there called, I'm Still Yours. This song reminds me of Job. It's a sweet, sweet song. (Kutless; It Is Well: A Worship Album by Kutless; I'm Still Yours.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjSvml7iWeQ

(If the link doesn't work ~ copy and paste it into another browser.)

If You washed away my vanity • If You took away my words • If all my world was swept away • Would You be enough for me? • Would my beating heart still sing?
If I lost it all would my hands stay lifted to the God who gives and takes away...
If You take it all this life You've given still my heart will sing to You!
When my life is not what I expected the plans I made have failed • When there's nothing left to steal me away • Will You be enough for me? • Will my broken heart still sing?
Even if You take it all away You'll never let me go. Take it all away, but I still know... That I'm Yours...

Oh Lord, You are enough for me! Thank you for your immeasurable blessings! I'm so excited about what You have in store for us! Lord, keep my hands lifted. If you take it all... I pray my heart will still sing to you! Thank you for the beautiful spring weather. Your mercies show brightly through the newness of life outside! Thank you for your protective hedge around me and my family and friends. I ask You to bless those who read this. Touch their hearts and shower them with a glimpse of you precious goodness. Thank you for allowing me to be Natalie's mother. What an honor it is to be her mom! What a thrill it is to see her grow in You. Thank you for giving her such a sweet, sweet spirit and pursuing a relationship with her! I thank you and ask these things in your son's precious, glorious name!

introductions

Have you ever attended a speech by a well, renown speaker, where it is appropriate to have a big, bold introduction? Okay, an example might be "Monday night football." I can still here the voice from the television from when I was a kid. "Are you ready for some football? Monday Night Football!" Okay, maybe not quite like that, but at some point in life each of us have to introduce ourselves either to another or to a group. So... how do you introduce yourself? Depending upon the audience, some would claim titles, experiences, successes, achievements, etc. while other's would introduce themselves by who they know. "I'm such-in-such's friend, neighbor, coworker, etc." Wednesday night's women's study has grown from about ten people to over thirty. We wear name badges and typically each week we go around the room and introduce ourselves and all answer the same question that week. Questions such as, where were you born? or what's your favorite color? Just to share a little bit of yourself with the group. ...an introduction. I really liked a story a lady told me about her friend. This lady was well known in her community and was interviewed in the local newspaper. One of the questions were, "What do you do?" I would have answered the question, "I'm a graphic designer for a Christian division of one of the largest greeting card companies in the world." That sounds pretty good on paper. That title/introduction makes me look pretty good...no? I wish I would have thought of this and would have been as bold as this lady, but I can't take credit. She answered it, "I am a disciple of Christ. Within that, I sit on the city council and I enjoy working in real estate." WOW! That statement humbled me quickly. :)

Wednesday at church we are studying the book, Bad Girls of the Bible, by Liz Curtis Higgs. I was hesitant to read this book at first, but surprised at how much I am enjoying it. I guess I thought I would be able to relate too well to the ladies discussed in her book... Eve, Delilah, the Samaritan woman at the well, who remains nameless... you know, the conniving ones. Our discussion Wednesday night was incredible.

We talked about the nameless Samaritan woman at the well mentioned in John 4. Here was a Jewish man talking to a Samaritan woman. I tried to imagine being the woman at the well. What if Jesus is standing right in front of me. Would I be able to recognize Him? I know of the Messiah, I know of the Christ, but if I saw Him... would I know it was Him? Job said in 9:13 (MSG), Somehow, though he moves right in front of me, I don't see him; quietly but surely he's active, and I miss it.

I have a small plaque that I purchased at a fair in my kitchen window. It's a daily reminder to keep my spirit and actions in check. It reads: "How would you introduce yourself to God?"

How would I introduce myself to God? I asked that question at our table Wednesday. I heard a few people say, "Hi, God, I'm your child." For some reason, this particular response struck me as odd. I almost felt embarrassed thinking of answering this way. I guess I thought God would already know who I was, yet it's going to depend upon Him ultimately if "I'm His child."

Setting the stage at the well with Jesus and the Samaritan woman: in this time and age, women were not suppose to talk to men in public alone that's why in one of the verses Jesus politely asks her to go get her husband (which both of them knew she did not have). This is where this "bad woman" shines through. By Jesus' statement, I would conclude she didn't have high morals, but this is not the point I'm trying to get at. Also, Samaritans were not typically suppose to associate with Jews. So, in theory, there were a lot of laws/rules in place that show these two people should not to be having a conversation. There have been times when I have tried to avoid conversation. Maybe I'm in line at a local grocery store and the lady behind me sparks up a conversation. I'll be honest with you, I sometimes avoid eye contact with people so I don't have to converse. I know that's wrong, but that's my introverted side. I imagine this Samaritan woman being a bit caught off guard when Jesus started talking to her. For one, according to the "rules," he shouldn't have been talking to her. So I imagine, there she is, at Jacob's well to quench her thirst not there to strike up conversation.... just as I am at the grocery store...to buy groceries. What would be my reaction? Would I introduce myself? No, probably not, but I might bring up the weather or just curiously answer her question or respond to her comment. I don't think I would snob her off.

Now, Jesus asked the woman to give him a drink. She is caught off guard and returns with a question. "You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?" ahhh... the conversation is opened. :) This is prime time for Jesus to answer with, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water." Okay, I believe Jesus just told her who He really was, but I don't thinks she picked up on that. Physically speaking, the woman responds that it's impossible to pull water from this well since there is nothing to draw from. She even questions Jesus' authority. Again, Jesus responds with an offer, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again but whoever drinks the water I will give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." The Samaritan woman intellectually tells Jesus she sees He must be a prophet and tells him that our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but that Jews claim worship is in Jerusalem. I think she was trying to show Jesus that she wasn't ignorant. I think she may have also been trying to shift the "blame" of wrong doings after Jesus brought up the fact that she has had five husbands and the man she now haves is not her husband. I know if someone started pulling my skeletons out of the closet I'd be back peddling too. I can see this woman getting a little sassy, maybe even swinging her head saying "uh hu, listen here mister."

I love Jesus' response... "Believe me, woman," Ha! I can just see him giggling under His breath seeing her get all worked up. "a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You Samaritans (there's that little pun "You Samaritans") worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know." Okay... I see Jesus laying out the facts. "for salvation is from the Jews. (v23) Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth." Here's where she's trying to show her intellect again, (v25) "I know that Messiah (called Christ) is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us." ...So there! She told Him! Hehehehehe!

I love verse 26. "Then Jesus declared, "I who speak to you am he."" I bet she was saying to herself "OH Crap! I just looked like a fool!" And I can just see Jesus' sweet face, politely smiling in all His peace and glory. No wonder we don't know her name. teehee!

Now, that, my friend is an introduction. :)

Oh, Lord, keep me humble. Thank you for being the Messiah... the Christ! As Natalie always says in her prayers, thank you for the world you have given me to walk around ~ so much is said in that statement alone! In Jesus, precious name!

cursing my darkness

...be the Light don't bring the dark.

Man, last Friday I was grumpy. I worked long hours last week and I was ready for the weekend. At my desk, I had my headphones on and was plugging away getting work done, and didn't feel like interacting with anyone or anything. I was finding it difficult to be the light. I'm pretty sure I actually brought the darkness with me that day.

I recently finished reading Mark Batterson's book In the Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day. I would highly recommend it if you are looking for something to read. I started another one of his books the other night, Wild Goose Chase. I think God is telling me to run. But where? I'm not sure.

Tonight while reading, I'm really starting to question if I'm doing what God has called me to do. Scary thought ~ hu? Yah ~ tell me about it. I'm trying to figure it all out... trying to understand what it is He wants me to do. I just know what I'm currently doing could be ending a chapter and a new one is about to begin. You know when you're reading a really good book and you just can't wait to get to the end because you know there's something profound that you're dying to figure out, but you have to finish reading the beginning and middle to get the full impact of the ending. That's the best I can describe this chapter in my life right now.

I started thinking about my bad day I had last Friday... How many people did I burn out their light that day too? Is that how I want to be remembered? ...as the grumpy, plump chick who grumbles to herself in the corner? AUGH! I often think about what people would put on my tombstone should I pass away. Ever have that thought? How will you be remembered? What few, simple words would sum up you life on a stone?

I was reading tonight and came across a reference of a bold missionary, A.W. Milne, who set a one way trip to minister to a tribe of headhunters in New Hebrides. Story says that all other missionaries to this tribe had been martyred, but for some reason, this particular man ministered to the headhunters for thirty-five years yet still never returned home. When the tribe buried the missionary, they wrote the following epitaph on his tombstone: "When he came there was no light. When he left there was no darkness." WOW! ...beautiful.

Jesus came as the Light. John was sent as a light, just as John 1:8-9 says that "he came only as witness to the Light. The true Light that gives light to every man was coming into the world." He has sent us to be His light not the darkness.

Oh, Lord, thank you for being the Light. Thank you for the grace you offer me so many times a day. Help me to daily die in the flesh so I can shine brightly for You. Help me to be sensitive to the darkness so I can avoid dragging it along with me. Thank you for the smile on my face and the skip in my step. In Jesus' precious name.