focus

Today I had the privilege to go on a field trip with Natalie and her class. We traveled a couple of towns over to watch a play. Twenty-one first graders are a lot of kids. The teacher led the line while I brought up the tail making sure all 21 first graders were following directions and accounted for. Let me just say, after those four hours, I came home exhausted. The best description I can think of for 21 first graders on a field trip is "herding cats." I can't recall how many times I said "let's go," "you need to listen," "keep your hands to yourself" or "shhhh, pay attention to the teacher" and also "stay in line." I was constantly redirecting their attention on what they should be doing and who they should be paying attention to. There was so much going on that everything "else" was the distraction.

In the same way, every day, all around me, I'm constantly shifting my attention to something I feel is more important. At work, it's what fire is burning the hottest and making the most flame and clatter. I jump from obstacle to the next just trying to stay afloat. I run to the ball field, to church, to gymnastics, to work, to school... without taking a breath. So chaotic, I have no time to sit still. Most days I feel like God is trying to tell me something and most days I feel like I've missed something. Almost every day, I feel like He is just trying to say, "shhhhhh, be quiet ~ focus." But I continue to abruptly interrupt Him with my schedule and everything "else" going on around me.

I've been studying the book of James. Sometimes my urgency to find out what God has planned for me, to see "big picture" and to understand everything right now, right this second... eliminates the soft, quiet times God really craves to experience with me. I don't take the time to really stop and listen to what's being said... and not only are my ears not hearing, but my eyes are not looking for His treasures. I can't seem to tame the tongue so I can open my ears. And more importantly, as James refers to in chapter 3, if I do see and hear and do not use those thing which I've seen and heard, what good is that?

I experience deja vu quite a bit. You know those times when you're in a situation that you feel like you been there before. So many times, I wonder if it's Him ~ I wonder if it's His way of showing me something right then and there. I get giddy like a child in a candy store imagining it's God penetrating the world around me to feel His presence in a new way. Like I've said before, I don't hear a big booming voice, I don't see a bright shining light. I see Him in my every day life, and speaks to me through the bible and I know it's Him by the Truth, by love and by His beauty of whatever it may be.

I heard a song on the radio a few weeks ago and it took me three days to finally figure out who sang it and the title. It touched my heart so much and put a smile on my face. You can look it up on youtube.com. Mandisa wrote a beautiful song called, "God Speaking."

Have you ever heard a love song that set your spirit free?
Have you ever watched a sunrise and felt you could not breathe?
What if it's Him. What if it's God speaking.
Have you ever cried a tear that you could not explain?
Have you ever met a stranger who already knew your name?
What if it's Him. What if it's God speaking
Who knows how He'll get a hold of us; get our attention to prove He is enough
He'll do and He'll use whatever He wants to; to tell us "I love you"
and the song goes on...

Today, a friend of mine posted a cute saying on his status. He was driving on his way to work this morning and saw a church bulletin board that caught his attention. It read, "Jesus knows me, this I love!" ~ perfect!

There's not a day that goes by that I don't say these exact words to Natalie... "You know what?" She will respond with, "what?" I reply with, "I love you!" Sometimes she'll guess "I love you!" but every time she responds, "I KNEW you were going to say that!" Which is perfect. I don't want a day to go by that she doesn't hear those words from me!

God is the same way. He tells me every day that He loves me. He gives me everything around me to show me how much he loves me, but if my eyes and ears are not focused on hearing and seeing Him, I could just miss it. Shhhhhh.. listen.

In James 3, James talks about taming the tongue. He references a bit in the mouth of a horse and how that bit controls the whole horse ~ where the horse is led, which direction to turn, and when to stop. The bit also prevents the horse from eating much and makes it difficult to neigh (speak) and difficult to bite. In verse five, James says, "the words out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything-or destroy it." What's the bit in my mouth? What am I letting lead me?


The Message version of James 1:22-27 "Don't fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don't act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like. But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God—the free life!—even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action. Anyone who sets himself up as "religious" by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only hot air. Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world."

Listen, focus... He's speaking.

Oh, Lord, help me to have ears to hear You. My ears cannot be open if my mouth is open. Help me control my tongue. Use me, do whatever you need to do to use me. Thank you for telling me you love me in everything! Help me to focus only on You. In Jesus' precious name.