I usually have one of two prayers a) for either healing in someone ~ whether that is physical or spiritual b) for the Lord to change me for the better ~ mostly spiritual and help me overcome the flesh. I have found that when I ask God to help me it is because my conscience won't sit still. It's the Holy Spirit tugging at me. You know those times ~ "cleaning house" for the soul. In my mind, I have justified some of my actions and am okay with the way things are. I find myself living in my comfort zone, but in my heart I know there are some things that are not right with God. I easily tell myself: I'm not hurting anyone, but come to a point to admitting to myself: I know I am not where God wants me to be. He wants us to want Him and to be more like Him. It is in those times when my conscience is really stirring. It is in those times when I ask Him for wisdom. Then, when He literally answers my prayer, I step back and find it difficult to take the next step. (Especially if I'm living in a "comfort zone"). For a few months now, I have been praying for clarity in many areas in my life. I felt a personal conviction and struggled in my heart and mind and asking myself if this is where God wants me to be. This last weekend He revealed the bigger picture. I cried and I laugh at the same time. It was as if I heard Him say: "Hello!?!? Suzanne!?!?! You asked Me to help you here... here I am, in all My glory showing you exactly what you asked for." He has a way of putting me in my place pretty quick ~ constantly reminding me that again... HE is in control! Oh, am I ever grateful!
This past weekend I took my daughter on a trip to visit my parents back home. It is only a two hour drive, but for the two of us it is a mini-vacation away from our everyday. It was a time of personal grieving of my loss, but also because I know "home" is where I find peace and joy and hope for a new day. Isn't it great when you know that "coming home" (especially coming home to God) is the best place on earth? I needed to hear my parents say, just as my dad has always said to me "Baby, get up, dust yourself off and keep going." I knew I could find the strength at home to get through this loss. I am so blessed to have an earthly father (and mother) who resembles my heavenly Father and has a God seeking heart. They were there, as always to pick me up and show me unconditional love and give me encouragement. Thank you, mom and dad! XOXO
As I close that chapter in my life this week, and I thank God that I had the experience, it's hard not to be sad. I'm reminded of First Peter 1. I like how Peter says we will have grief and trials, but these have come so that your faith may be proven genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. I have not seen Him, but I love and believe Him and know that He is the reason I am filled with inexpressible and glorious joy! It says in verse nine that I am reminded that I am receiving the goal of my faith ~ the salvation of my soul!! Later in the chapter it reminds me to be prepared, be self-controlled and set my hope on the grace that is shown when Jesus Christ again is revealed. Don't live in ignorance and do not conform to the evil desires, but be just, just as He who called me is holy ~ be holy. "16 Be holy, because I am holy." I really like the lesson Peter is saying here and how he tells us how to examine ourselves. I believe this describes the clarity I asked Him to show me.
In Philippians 3, "Paul said he rejoiced in his sufferings because he knew that by his sufferings he was able to participate in the suffering required to bring others into Christian maturity." I recently read a devotion from a co-worker titled Take up Your Cross. He pointed out "if you are waiting for a relationship with God that never requires suffering or inconvenience, then you cannot use Christ as your example." In order for Christ to bring us salvation, He had to endure the worst suffering. He did this because He loves us, but also in order for us to have suffering as an example. Life is not always roses. In fact, we are on the enemy's territory the moment we are born. Taking up your cross is a choice. Your "cross," regardless the cost and suffering is "God's will for you." It is not health problems, finances, nor consequences of your actions. The action of "taking up your cross" is NOT beyond your control. It is the daily dying and denying my flesh in order to let God have control. This is a voluntary action in which you will endure suffering. Jesus said to his disciples "If anyone wants to come with Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross and follow Me." Matthew 16:24 I'm thankful for joy and love and knowing God is always the same, but His grace is pure and His mercies are new every morning. (Paraphrased) "The Lord's mercies are new every morning!! Great is His faithfulness!...The Lord is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh Him." Lamentations 3:22-25
Today I'm thanking God for a new day...
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