our piece

I should be a sleep right now... but I've been reading. I picked up a book the other day that's titled "What does the Bible say about DIVORCE." I was hoping it would give better insight than what it did. Primarily, it gave me great verse reference, but most of the references seemed to be chosen out of it's context from what it really meant. ...a little disappointed ~ wouldn't recommend the book, but oh well. :)

This week has been hard on me. I've thought a lot about this Sunday coming up for a while. This calendar day marks a few items down in history for me. It marks the anniversary date of my ex-husband and I wedding twelve years ago. It also marks the anniversary date of the day I filed for a divorce five years ago. I know I made those decisions. Both decisions were not easy, but they are what they are. I don't believe God wants us to be unhappy and the situation I was in prior to five years ~ I had lost my joy and peace. I felt alone.

After I browsed through the topics of my newly purchased book, (which I have to point out it was on the clearance table) I read some of the references, I thought to myself "I'll just shelf this book." A while back I had rearranged some nick-knacks in the bookshelf so I could add a few more things. My mother has the matching shelf in her house. She and dad gave me this shelf and a dresser about twelve years ago. I opened the door and a crash hit the hard wood floor shattering into a hundred pieces. My heart was saddened to see a sweet "prayer" ceramic pot hit the floor. This prayer jar was given to me by my mother about five years ago. I started picking up some of the papers that fell with the crash laying among the pile. They were small pieces of paper, typed and cut out perfectly. I had a small pile of different size papers in my hands when I realized these were not just any papers... I was holding written prayers that had fallen out of the cork sealed pottery piece which was now in a hundred pieces. 

I gathered them all up and started reading them one at a time, each one being more special than the one before. These were not just any prayers ~ these papers definitely came out of the crashed pot... These written prayers were my mother's prayers... NO... these prayers are the prayers she prays ...for me. I started crying. I started boo-hooing like a big baby! Not because I'm sad, but because it just hit me ~ she has prayed me through some very difficult times. Because it hit me ~ she is still praying these prayers for me today. 

The first one reads, "My prayer for you is: That God will lead you and protect you. MOM".

The next, "I pray that you will give God the glory in all things and you will come out victorious".  

Another ~ "My prayer for you is: (Health) Beloved, I wish above all things that you mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth. III John 2"

I began to weep... "I pray that God will send someone your way to love you and Natalie like you have never known!"

At this point, tears were rolling... "My Prayer for you is: That God will supply all your needs & keep you from harm. MOM"

"I pray that you will teach your children about the ways of God!" ~ I'm trying momma... I really am. 

"My prayer for you is that Dad and I have instilled in you the love of God!" ~ thank you for doing this! He is an incredible God!

"My prayer for you is: (Fear) God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. II Timothy 1:7" ~ Yes! 

"My prayer for you is: That God will heal the broken heart. MOM" ~ wow, momma! He's still working on this one with me. It's been hard, but I'm doing good. 

"My prayer for you is: Psalm 91:1 If we dwell in the secret place of the most High we shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. This is a great chapter to stand on when we are going through trials." ~ This is a great chapter to stand on every day! I pray He continues to show me mercy... I have found joy in His shadows. 

"I pray God will give you joy and laughter." ~ It's time to rejoice!

The last one couldn't have come at a better time. And although my mother typed a grammar mistake it reads absolutely perfect! I read it through my tears, "I know things are tough right now but God is our piece & our refuge. Love, MOM". Things have been tough. I know God is my peace. I know God is my refuge! He is our "state of tranquillity or quiet" as Webster defines it. And just as my mom typed it... He is also my piece, "as part of a whole." He is the piece who makes me complete ~ who makes me whole. Without Him, I am nothing.

Though I'm saddened I have lost my prayer jar, I will still have the memories of the sweet, sweet prayers my mother typed for me. By this jar breaking, it reminded me that indeed, someone is praying for me. Thank you, Mom and Dad ~ for instilling in me the piece I need to make it through any situation. It is through His grace and mercy I am where I am today. 

Now, before I grab a broom and dustpan and pick up all of the pieces off the floor, I want to say, mom and dad, "My prayer for you is:" 

May you both find peace in knowing you have instilled in me the loving God you serve is also the precious, loving God I too serve; And together we can share the joy that only comes from having our piece of God!