"E"

Life is a whirlwind right now... So hectic with work, involvement with church, Natalie's soccer, school functions, gymnastics, and an overseas trip coming up... I'm having difficulty slowing down. When it comes to my job, it seems to move ninety miles an hour from one obstacle to the next while leaping hurdles which some people say I'm crazy to even try to jump over. Sometimes I feel if I don't try, my faith in God sit idol. Sometimes I enjoy putting myself on these lines only to prove to myself that He is on my side (not in a "testing God" mind frame...but with 100% faith knowing with His help, I can accomplish this task). With God on my side, nothing is impossible. Jesus states, in Luke 18:27 "What is impossible with men is possible with God." However, with a commitment I gave my coworkers I found myself with two late nights in the office last week. One night as I was leaving the office, I actually felt a little relief and joy knowing I had just completed a huge task for an important meeting the next morning... meanwhile, everything else still piled up. When I finally laid my head on my pillow that night I started thinking of the tasks I still needed to get done at home... laundry, dishes...my mind raced. My success was based on accomplishing these tasks when almost everything (and everyone) else suffered from my sacrifice of time and energy. My body was on "E" so I decided to block out the "to do" list and try to get some rest.

Last Monday while driving Natalie to school, the "low fuel" light came on my car. Okay, I'm a bit embarrassed to admit, but I ignored the light. Well, two days on "E" left me stranded on the side of the road. Yes, for the second time in my life, I ran out of fuel... Coincidentally, not only was I not finding time to stop and fill up my car, I wasn't taking time for my body, my spirit nor my mind to be refueled either. My "to do list" includes time with God. Had I just unintentionally placed God to the side instead of out in the front leading me? Yah, at that exact moment... I had. If I'm too busy for God... I must really be way too busy.

I thought about the song "Busy Man" by Steven Curtis Chapman. His lyrics talk about being way too busy for God. Am I running with my eyes closed and missing life all along the way and not even know it? "Things" seem to take residence in my life a lot of times... I think I need this; and I want that. So with all this wanting, I work harder to make those things happen and be a part of my life. Is this really what it's all about? ...just to have more things? Matthew 6: 24 Jesus says that I cannot have two masters; I will either be devoted to one and despise the other, but I cannot serve both God and money. Many time I let the idea of having material items or "being known" for accomplishing something (but requires many personal, spiritual sacrifices) in my life be my goal... to be my success. People have told me... "you seem to have it together." Oh, man... little do they know that my head is a mess! Back to Matthew 6 in verse 25 and 26 say, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" I am too busy and I'm just trying to make it through the day on my own. I need God and I want Him there! I'm so glad He cares about me and the birds; I long to have the faith of those little birds.

There is more to life than just trying to make it through the days and the weeks... There is so much more! Jesus Christ was sent to earth for me to give me more to this life. I can't make it through a single day without God; nor do I want to try. It's difficult to run on "E" for very long; I know God is always there... and he offers me the fuel to make it through. It's not the cars fault that I ran out of gas ~ it's my fault. It was a great reminder when I was left stranded on the side of the road to stay focused on the fuel gauge and take the time to refuel... especially with God.