transparent

I'm currently reading a book called, "transparent" by Sarah Zacharias Davis. She has interviewed many ladies and taken many different perspectives of life in general. This book is about getting honest about who I am and in turn who I want to be. It's truth, out on the table ~ from the heart of different women. In the first chapter she talks about a woman named, Whitney. It's titled "finding the courage to be me." After the entire chapter going through her description of her strong will and intimidating personality, what related to me was the very last paragraph. She says, "You might think I'm too strong or that I voice my opinion too readily, but that's okay. Because I've come to a place where I believe if I'm good enough for God, then I am good enough for everyone else. And I know he's still working on me, so you don't need to worry. It was a long path to get to where I am today. But this is who I am, and I really believe that it would be wrong not to live according to that reality. That assurance, that knowledge has set me free to be the person God intended." After reading the first part of the chapter, I know she doesn't say this with arrogance nor is she saying this with the intent that "this is who I am" as a viable excuse for sinning. I know her words were genuine and the way I interpreted them was close to home. I believe she is saying that the world... doesn't matter if God is not in the picture. If I know that I'm trying to do right in the eyes of God, the rest of the world will fall in place.

Today in church we studied temptation. Funny how I've just referenced Jesus' temptation in the wilderness a few days ago. Guess where the sermon began? Yep... Luke 4. There He goes.. paving the way again. Isn't it refreshing. It's just like the seeds.

Okay, back to my thoughts. While reading this book, my desire right now is to be transparent. I want to continue to live a life without "skeletons in the closet." I want to knock down any walls, take off any masks and be completely true with myself... even if I know it hurts sometimes ...so I can be true in my relationship with others and with God. The women in this book began each chapter constantly comparing themselves to other women, beating themselves up for not living up to either God's standards or other women's standards. They vulnerably open their hearts with their most insecure secrets. I don't think that I have many insecurities, but I could sure relate to all of these women in one way or another with their insecurities, loneliness, preoccupation with appearance or fear of letting others know the real you. I think the best way to judge my own self is to look at myself when I am completely alone. What am I doing when no one else knows?

So, what is my temptation? That's between me and God and He is working in me. Today Pastor Jay said, "Temptation does NOT equal sin." Jesus was tempted, but was sinless. The acting on temptation is sin, but being tempted and overcoming temptation only proves my strength and faith. Many times when I think about temptation in general, a heavy weight settles on me. If I've acted on temptation or want to act on temptation I start feeling like I've done something wrong and look to hide or turn my back on God so I don't have to face him. But so much of that is the opposite. I know I can't hide from God ~ he sees and knows all. It is in those tempted times I don't need to be running from Him, I need to be running straight into his arms! I need to ask Him for strength and face my temptation head on. Jesus was tempted for many reasons, Hebrews 2 tells me that He was tempted and suffered through the temptation so that could become merciful and gain wisdom to help me though my temptations. Hebrews 2:18 Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

Being transparent and true to myself allows me to use the strength given to me by God to conquer my fears and temptations. In Romans 8:6 states The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; 7 the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Verse 12 says I have an obligation, but also acquiring His power to overcome in the spirit.

Psalm 119:1-2 sings out that Blessed are they whose ways are blameless, who walks according to the law of the Lord. Blessed are they who keep statutes and seek him with all their heart. I want to always seek Him, carry the law in my heart and not sin against Him. This doesn't mean that I won't be tempted. It's that I will have the power in me to overcome temptation thus leaving me purer and transparent.

Lord, thank you again for intentionally paving the way for me. Thank you for allowing me to hear and better understand your word. I seek your guidance in all I do. You are an honored guest in my life and I ask you to continue to be the breath and thoughts in me. Lord, I ask You to not lead me into temptation, but if I must be tempted, give me your strength to overcome. Help me to remove anything blocking me from you and to make me as transparent as you would have me to be. I ask You to guide my path and help me make steps in accordance to what you would have me do. I exalt you. Your love endures forever! In Jesus' precious and holy name I pray.